


Sweater gang - University AU

by malazuzu22



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Sweater gang AU, check my tumblr for more stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-05-10 05:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malazuzu22/pseuds/malazuzu22
Summary: A series of drabbles based on the modern university AU I created on tumblr. Every chapter is  a separate story.If you're interested, please checkherethe fanart I did for it previously together with character headcanons. There will be much more in the future, once I kick my ass into finishing all these pics in my iPad. :D





	1. MadaTobi - Just another ordinary morning of the vice-chancellor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madara has it rough with the Senju brothers sometimes. 
> 
> AKA enduring a war with a cat, sassy husband and Hashirama's awful fashion taste is a bit too much for one fucking morning.

‘…and I’m telling you the foul beast did it entirely on purpose!’ Madara insisted on his statement. ‘It’s just a cat, Madara. Stop exaggerating. And I’d like to point out that if you put your coat at the hanger where it was supposed to be, instead of leaving it on the couch, Mr Fluffington wouldn’t have any chance to make a blanket out of it.’ Tobirama rolled his eyes and reached out to pick another very long white hair the maine coon left on Madara’s favourite black coat.

‘That’s not the point! And this… This creature! Is no mere cat and you know it!’ Madara sputtered indignantly and swatted his hand away. ‘Leave it, there’s no point taking them off one by one. What I need is a sticky tape roller. Or ten.’ The black-haired man grumbled and rummaged through his bag in search of the keys from his office.

 

‘You stress too much. It will make you all wrinkly and old and I will have to find someone better looking than an ancient fossilized raisin.’ Tobirama replied nonchalantly. ‘Don’t you fucking dare! Allow me to mention a good portion of my stress is entirely your fault anyway. And you put a ring on it. Which means, you’re stuck with me. Forever.’ Madara narrowed his eyes threateningly and waved his left hand bearing a simple silver band in front of Tobirama’s face vigorously to remind his dear husband of his predicament.

‘Oh heavens. What a delight. Then I suggest you to stop waging war with a freaking cat. Your life would be much easier, you know? And, to the extend, mine as well.’ Tobirama reached out for the hand and laced their fingers together, supposedly to prevent Madara from clawing his eyes out. ‘My life would be much easier if that white-haired fluffy thing annoying the hell out of me wasn’t in it at all.’ Madara retorted, the irk leaving him. Tobirama always knew how to sway him, the bleached bastard.

‘I do hope we are still talking about the cat, my love.’ Tobirama quirked a brow. ‘That’s up for the debate.’ Madara glanced at him challengingly. Their eyes were locked for a moment in a battle of intimidating stares before they both started chuckling. It wouldn’t be them without the constant bickering.

 

 

They finally reached their destination. ‘I just need to fetch some papers and we can go to Hashirama’s office right away.’ Madara unlocked the door to his office and strode towards the desk to rummage through the drawers. Tobirama meanwhile went to the shelf wall containing all sorts of trinkets and returned to him with a sticky tape roller. Madara always had a couple of them at hand because the cat _was leaving its hair on his clothes on purpose, end of discussion._

 

‘Hold still, I’m gonna clean you up. We can’t have you showing up in front of the council like this. Uchiha Madara, always the respectable one.’ Tobirama winked and proceeded to roll the tape all over his coat that was covered with white cat hair. At last he was getting rid of it! ‘Well someone has to between you and me.’ Madara needled. Not that Tobirama dressed inappropriately, but his mix of mad-scientist-like and skate style was a tad bit too casual for a dean in Madara’s opinion.

‘All done. My, my, look at you. Don’t we know each other, handsome?’ Tobirama graced him with that mischievous type of smile that never failed to make Madara’s knees buckle a little. ‘Cease it, stupid. We have a meeting in five minutes…’ Madara murmured but reached out for Tobirama’s collar to drag him closer all the same.

‘One or two kisses won’t delay us so much, babe.’ Tobirama didn’t waste the time and put his hands on Madara’s hips, sealing their lips. Even after all these years Tobirama still possessed the ability to completely blow his mind with the way he kissed him.

 

Sadly, Tobirama pulled away after a minute, interrupting the kiss entirely too soon. Madara tried to pursue him with a low disgruntled whine but the white-haired man put an index finger on his lips instead. ‘Meeting, Mads. Let’s get Hashirama, get over with this and if everything goes well…’ He trailed off and pinched Madara’s butt playfully, smirking suggestively.

‘You don’t have office hours today?’ Madara perked up hopefully. ‘No. But I could arrange some private just for you.’ Tobirama’s smirk widened a fraction at Madara’s sharp intake of breath. ‘Alright, let’s get going.’ The Senju, seeing his husband’s brain was currently dealing with a system error, kissed Madara’s nose, took the papers on the table and led Madara out of the office.

 

 

 

Hashirama’s cheerful terribly out-of-tune whistling of the _Good morning_ song from the Singin' in the Rain musical could be heard even before they opened the door to the office across the hall. ‘Hashirama, are you rea….’ Madara didn’t get to finish the sentence, stopping dead in his tracks.

‘Madara, Tobi! Good morning, good morning!’ Hashirama sing-songed and waved happily. ‘What _the hell_ are you wearing?!’ The Uchiha shrieked when he snapped out of his stupor. Tobirama had to shove him out of the way so he could see too whatever was threatening to give his husband a stroke this early in the morning. Or a second one, if you counted the incident with the cat.

‘Ah! That’s my new sweater! Cool, isn’t it?’ Hashirama grinned brightly, evidently proud of his newest addition to the freaky collection. ‘Pray tell, which unfortunate hobo in the town is now short of a piece of their garment?’ Madara crossed his arms. ‘What do you mean?’ Hashirama tilted his head in confusion, tugging at the knitted thing. Obviously he found nothing wrong about it.

 

‘Tobirama. Is there any shop in the town called “The Ugliest Sweaters in the World” we don’t know about? I think Kawarama and Takuma should be granted a permission to burn the place down.’ Madara turned to his husband who remained eerily quiet up until now.

‘I bought it in a thrift shop next to the train station…’ Hashirama clarified, now starting to form a pout as he finally realized his brother and best friend didn’t find his sweater as fabulous as he did. ‘I’m gonna text Kawa at once. Expect the bombs deployed in three minutes.’ Tobirama obediently fished his phone out of the pocket at Madara’s pointed look.

 

‘Seriously guys, what’s so terrible about the sweater?’ Hashirama folded his arms, winding himself into one of his childish tantrums. ‘It’s pink and it has unicorns on it!’ Madara yelled at him. ‘Unicorns are awesome, everyone knows that.’ Hashirama pouted a bit more.

‘They are wearing Santa hats.’ Tobirama added flatly. ‘I know! Aren’t they just adorable? I love Christmas sweaters!’ Hashirama exclaimed excitedly as he in his zeal momentarily forgot he was supposed to be sulking. ‘It’s April for fucks sake!’ Madara deadpanned, throwing his arms up.

‘And? Just because it’s Christmas themed I am only permitted to wear it in December?’ Hashirama defended himself. ‘Yes anija, that’s usually the point of Christmas sweaters. But this thing is hideous. You should be banned from wearing it _ever_.’ Tobirama rubbed at his eyes tiredly. ‘Thank you, dear.’ Madara agreed wholeheartedly.

 

‘You two are so mean! What would you have me wear then? Cowboy costume? Bikini? A suit?’ Hashirama was now using his kicked puppy face on them. Not that it was working or either of the two. ‘Now that would be fucking spectacular! A university headmaster in a suit, gods forbid! But since I highly doubt you possess anything even remotely resembling a suit, a simple dark-coloured sweater without any ridiculous patterns would make me shed happy tears.’ Madara scowled at the overgrown child.

‘You don’t know what’s cool. The students I met on my way here loved it. The Inuzuka boy was even taking pictures.’ Hashirama stuck his nose into the air. Madara with Tobirama exchanged tired looks. It would seem Hashirama still had no clue about the Instagram page students made as a gallery of the worst sweaters he ever wore on campus. So far the sweater with most votes was a bright purple one with orange, pink and green swirls and two huge kittens wearing bows around their neck on it.

 

‘Hashirama…’ Madara growled dangerously. ‘Anija please. Don’t you have anything to change into? You seriously don’t mean to go to the council meeting like this.’ Tobirama put a hand on his husband’s shoulder to calm him down. ‘No. And even if I had, you are not a boss of me, not you, not Madara. I shall wear whatever I want. You two have no sense of fashion.’ Hashirama nodded firmly.

‘Oh my god, the meeting! We are already twelve minutes late!’ Madara yelped, eyes widened in cold dread. ‘You’re the one delaying me from arriving on time…’ Hashirama waved a hand laconically and brushed past them, confidently striding into the meeting room in his awful pink Christmas unicorn sweater.

 

‘Tobi. Don’t tell me you see what I see. Is he really wearing fucking flip-flops?!’ Madara wheezed weakly, clutching on Tobirama’s forearm as all his hopes for humanity were suddenly drained out of him. Tobirama only winced at the choir of gasps that came out of the meeting room once Hashirama opened the door.

‘I swear. You Senju are gonna drive me mad one day.’ Madara sighed helplessly, shoulders slumped. ‘There, there. I will buy you and your poor nerves a chocolate cake as a reward once we’re done here.’ Tobirama wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t like sweets.’ Madara scoffed. ‘Sure, babe. Sure.’ Tobirama kissed the top of his head and with Madara mumbling profanities under his breath and Tobirama chuckling the couple went towards the meeting room as well.  Another beautiful morning on the campus indeed.


	2. KisaSaku - Love at the first punch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisame and Sakura meeting for the first time. KisaSaku requested by coolkakashisama. (: ItaNaru snuck in entirely on their own. :D 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was about three months after Kisame left Kiri and transferred to Konoha. The overall air of the school just wasn’t for him anymore, he had to get out of there. Karatachi Yagura wasn’t someone he particularly liked and the way he lead the school… Well, let’s say Kisame just couldn’t stand all of the controversial decisions that were made and open homophobia some of the professors displayed and Yagura's lack of guts to deal with them.

 

His new roommate at Konoha was a quiet serious young man with a ponytail of reddish-black hair. At first there wasn’t much of a communication between the two besides a few introduction phrases and greeting each other. It annoyed Kisame because he had hoped he could make friends with the guy but he quickly learned Itachi just wasn’t the type for talking unless necessary and he wasn’t silent all the time out of animosity.

Once Kisame learned about the lacrosse team Itachi was a member of looking for new players, he decided to give it a shot. The group, calling themselves Akatsuki, took him in without much hesitation and Kisame was surprised to see how much more relaxed Itachi was on the pitch. They eventually bonded well throughout the trainings and a few hangouts the team held together. Their coexistence in the small flat improved a lot since then.

 

 

Currently Itachi was sitting behind his desk, vigorously tapping into his laptop some kind of assignment he was working on past few days, while Kisame was slouching on the couch watching some stupid TV show on a mute trying not to disturb him.

Their quiet was suddenly interrupted by several loud bangs on the door that made Itachi jump and even Kisame flinched a bit. Without pausing to wait for the reply of the occupants of the apartment the door flew wide open with such force the hinges screeched and the person barged in like a tornado.

 

‘Hey, Itachi! Watcha doin’? Having your nose stuck in the books as always?’ The guy hollered, his voice a couple decibels louder than was entirely necessary, bordering on annoying. Kisame remembered him vaguely from the gym. He met him there a few times. Last time there was a pretty pink-haired girl with him and they were boxing. Kisame recognized the voice because the blonde kept whining about how harsh she was with him. Such a tiny woman kicking his ass? He had to be pretty weak.

‘Good afternoon, Naruto-kun. You are correct, before you interrupted I’ve been working on my essay.’ Itachi responded with his smooth levelled voice, subtly telling the guy he was intruding. ‘And will you be finished soon?’ The blonde – Naruto – continued without batting an eyelash.

‘I was nearing the end, yes. Why do you ask?’ Itachi folded his arms. Kisame presumed whatever was the blonde up to, the Uchiha wouldn’t be interested in but he asked out of politeness all the same. Before Naruto could respond a fluffy orange dog barged into the room through the door the guy forgot to close after himself properly.

 

‘Oh, hello Kurama.’ Kisame was shocked to see Itachi crack a tiny smile just as the dog trotted towards him and licked his extended hand. It had long hair, which meant it was leaving mess behind and Itachi always had to have everything pristine clean. Right now it was trailing its hair all over Itachi’s black jeans while being scratched behind its ears but the Uchiha didn’t seem to mind.

‘Kurama! What the hell man, I told you to wait outside! Stop pestering Itachi stupid fox-dog.’ Naruto yelped and leapt forward, getting a hold of the dog’s collar and yanking him away from the dark-haired man. The dog was obviously reluctant to give up the ministrations. Kisame watched Naruto trying to wrangle him away with some mild amusement until suddenly Kurama stopped pulling the other way, taking the blonde by surprise. Naruto tripped over the carpet and fell right onto Itachi who didn’t have any other chance than catch him.

 

Kisame had to forcibly make himself not to burst out laughing at the comical fumbling as Naruto shrieked and scampered off the stunned Uchiha. ‘Oh my, I’m so sorry Itachi!’ The blonde blurted out, all red faced. ‘Geez, Kurama! What the hell has gotten into you today?!’ Naruto then turned his irk on the dog who was contently sitting nearby, licking at its paw and looking completely innocent.

‘It’s alright, Naruto-kun…’ Itachi murmured after cleaning his throat. If Kisame didn’t know better, he’d almost say the Uchiha was blushing too. Interesting. ‘Aww man, why do I always put my foot into things like this! Sorry about that, I’ll leave you to your papers.’ Naruto ran a hand across his face and made for the door, the dog now following him obediently.

Itachi watched his back intently as if considering something and Kisame was disappointed his entertainment was ended but just as the door were about to close behind the blonde, Itachi apparently made up his mind and jumped out of his chair to run after him. If this wasn’t highly curious then Kisame didn’t know what was.

 

‘Naruto-kun, wait! Didn’t you want something before…?’ Itachi stopped the door from closing. The blonde turned around, surprise clearly painted on his whiskered face. ‘Yeah. There’s a party tonight in our house. I thought maybe you would like to come?’ A sheepish grin started to form on Naruto’s lips.

Itachi and house parties? What was this guy thinking he was doing? The probability of the serious Uchiha going to a college party was a limit close to zero. ‘Umm… Thank you for the invitation but I still have some work to do…’ Itachi, true to Kisame’s expectations, rubbed the back of his neck and glanced regretfully at his work desk swarmed with papers.

‘Oh. Got it, never mind. I’ll see you around then.’ Naruto withered for a second before grinning even brighter, trying to mask his disappointment. Kisame noticed Itachi clenched and unclenched his fists nervously and bit his lower lip. Was he seeing wrong or the Uchiha actually _wanted_ to come, only being hindered by his terrible sense for duty?

 

The Hoshigaki decided to step in. ‘Oi, Itachi, I think you could use some stress relief. You’ve been at it for days.’ Kisame shouted from his spot on the couch, making Naruto notice him at last. ‘Holy cow, I didn’t even see you here before! Hey, you’re the shark-man! I remember you from the gym! You wanna come too?’ Naruto grinned at him warmly.

‘Who am I to refuse an invitation on a party? Count me in, blondie.’ Kisame grinned back and then chuckled as Naruto’s eyes widened a fraction and he gulped at the sight of his sharp teeth. It would seem he saw them before, most likely on the Hozuki brat that was attending the university as well.

‘Great! The party starts at eight. Don’t bother knocking, just come in… Sorry, what was your name again…?’ Naruto tilted his head curiously. ‘Hoshigaki Kisame, nice to meet you.’ Kisame stood up to shake the blonde’s hand. He was a good six inches taller than the blonde but he didn’t seem to be intimidated by him.

‘Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!’ Naruto took the offered hand with a bright smile and shook it. He had a firm grasp, something Kisame liked about him. Itachi watched the whole exchange between them silently. ‘So… I guess I’ll be going now, we still have some things to prepare before you guys come. You _will_ come, right, Itachi?’ Naruto turned to the Uchiha with pleading puppy eyes.

 

It took a few seconds for Itachi to respond. Either he was still debating whether to come or not or he got lost in the blue of the Uzumaki’s azure eyes. Kisame stifled a chuckle. Could it be…? ‘Very well. I suppose I can join you for a while.’ Itachi finally capitulated.  ‘Yattaaaa! Awesome!’ Naruto pumped the fist into the air, grinning happily. His smile was positively infectious because Kisame caught himself smirking too and even spied a brief faint smile on Itachi’s lips.

‘Will Sasuke be present?’ Itachi asked after he schooled his expression again. ‘I bet Sasuke-teme is already there, cursing me along with Sakura-chan to seven hells for not bringing yet the juices they sent me to buy before I decided to stop by.’ Naruto scratched at his scalp with a nervous laugh.

‘You should probably go then. We can talk later.’ Itachi suggested. Itachi and willing to talk? Unbelievable. ‘Yeah, you’re right as always. See you later, Itachi, Kisame! Come, Kurama!’ Naruto fetched the skateboard previously leaning on the wall outside the apartment and took down the hall, the dog trotting by his leg.

He turned once more to wave before he disappeared behind the corner. Kisame humoured him by waving back cheerfully and even Itachi lifted his palm. The dark-haired man kept staring into the hall a few more seconds after Naruto vanished before he returned back into the apartment.

 

‘So how do you even know such a joyful ball of energy?’ Kisame couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t even know the blonde properly but it was obvious Naruto and Itachi were different like day and night. He would have never guessed the Uzumaki was someone Itachi would purposefully stick around.

‘Oh? Yes, Naruto-kun. We used to live in the same street as children. He’s the same age as Sasuke, they used to be the best friends until we moved out of the town for a while. They always followed me around like ducklings. They are still pretty close since we returned but they can never stop bickering.’ Itachi explained with a soft fond smile.

It took Kisame a lot of willpower not to comment on the Uchiha’s odd behaviour. Instead, he just hummed in response and went to the bathroom to take a shower. He resolved he would keep an eye on Itachi during the party and get to the bottom of it. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to impress some chicks, right?

 

 

₪₪₪

 

 

The place was incredibly crowded when they came. First familiar people they met were surprisingly Deidara and Sasori who were apparently invited by their fellow art student, that terribly pale kid who was always wearing a crop top, no matter the weather. Sai was his name again?

Kisame and Itachi spent some time talking to them before Itachi caught a glimpse of his little brother and went after him. Sasori and Deidara eventually left him too so he decided to grab a drink. On his way to the kitchen he saw Naruto in the living room, chatting with a few friends, a brunet with red fang markings on his faces, a high-maintenance blonde girl in purple miniskirt and crop top, black-haired dude with a high short ponytail rather resembling a pineapple who had a cigarette hanging on his lip and that pretty pink-haired chick from the gym.

The Uzumaki waved him over enthusiastically once he spotted him but Kisame gestured he needed a drink first. His friends eyed him curiously before they all returned to the conversation. In the kitchen Kisame picked some vodka with cranberry juice. As he was pouring the liquid into a cup, a familiar voice came from behind him.

 

‘Well, well, look who it is! Evening, Kisame.’ Shisui was leaning in the doorway once he turned back. ‘Shisui. How do you know our host?’ Kisame was surprised. ‘We are on the same baseball team with Naruto, Kiba and several other guys.’ Shisui shrugged.

‘I’m more curious how did _you_ end up here.’ The curly Uchiha came closer and tipped his red cup towards Kisame’s. ‘Cheers! I came with Itachi. Naruto barged into our flat to invite him earlier today.’ Kisame barked a laugh as he recalled the whole exchange between the two.

‘No kidding! And Itachi actually agreed??’ Shisui’s eyes widened in astonishment. ‘Yeah. He was acting strangely the whole time too. I have a funny feeling about this, if you ask my opinion.’ Kisame shared his suspicion with him. ‘You mean…’ Shisui trailed off, a shit-eating grin slowly forming on his face.

‘Perhaps. I wanted to keep an eye on them but I lost Itachi in the crowd when he went after Sasuke.’ Kisame confirmed his assumptions. ‘The last time I saw Sasuke he was hitting on that Hyuuga girl. If you can count glowering at anyone near her as hitting on someone.’ Shisui snorted and waved his hand.

 

‘But what you said intrigues me. I think I’m gonna give it a little push.’ The curly-haired man rubbed his hands gleefully and before Kisame could stop him vanished in the crowd. The Hoshigaki shrugged and decided to follow in the general direction Shisui went to at least observe what the other was up to.

He saw him talking to Naruto in the living room, pointing outside in the back garden, the other staring at him dumbly for a while. Then the blonde nodded slowly and walked out of the room. Shisui then sauntered away, doing the same with Itachi who was currently talking to Hana, Shisui’s girlfriend. Kisame decided he should rather pretend not to be involved at all.

 

Deidara with Sasori in tow reappeared just as Itachi left for the garden and the blonde talked Kisame into a game of beerpong. The party was in full swing and Kisame was enjoying himself a lot. When they finished the third game, he felt pleasantly numb but not too drunk, and ventured to the living room to get himself some snacks.

 

 

He was munching contently on nacho chips when some of the guys in the living room he didn’t know or even recognize started yelling at another. They were shouting for a while until one pushed the other and the fight erupted. Everyone stood back, watching the two with interest.

Just as Kisame thought he would step in, the pink-haired girl appeared, frowning menacingly. ‘What on earth is this? Stop this nonsense at once before you break something!’ She shouted at the two who were a good six or seven inches taller than her.

‘Shut it, big forehead. This does not concern you.’ One of them snapped back. ‘This is my house and if you two idiots want to dance, go outside and don’t come back.’ The girl perched her hands on her hips, not intimidated by them. The two guys shared a look and let go of each other, turning to her instead.

 

‘Look, sweetheart, we do whatever we want. You should consider who you’re talking to before you get hurt.’ The ginger drunk growled dangerously. They were threatening her and none of her friends was doing anything? ‘Yeah bitch, get lost if you don’t want us to teach you a lesson.’ The second one with shabby brown hair joined in.

‘Oh dear. Shouldn’t have said that.’ One of the guys, the pineapple-haired one who constantly looked bored, sighed out loud. Kisame presumed he was about to defend the girl but the guy just pulled out another cigarette and lit it, completely unfazed. It would probably have to be him saving the girl then.

‘Would you care to repeat what did you just call me?’ The pinkette gritted her teeth, fists clenched tightly. ‘Bitch. Ugly, tiny, pink-haired bitch with wide forehead.’ The brunet crossed his arms, smirking cockily. That did it. Kisame put down the plate with nachos to defend the girl’s honour but before he could do anything, the hell had been unleashed.

 

To everyone’s surprise, the girl made several swift steps towards the guy and hit him right into his face. The snap of a bone breaking could be heard as the guy yelped and fell backwards. The other stared with a hanging jaw for a few seconds before he recovered and with a feral snarl jumped after the girl.

The pinkette however nimbly dodged the fist swung at her, caught it middle-swing and twisted the guy’s arm painfully, head-butting him into face. The other was still lying on the floor clutching at his bleeding nose when she stomped the ginger’s foot and then kicked the feet from under him, making him join the other on the ground.

 

The small crowd gathered in the room was cheering for her all the while and once the two were incapacitated, a deafening clapping and yelling erupted. Kisame joined in when he snapped out of his haze, astonished by such fighting skills. He had to find out who the girl was.

Kisame made his way through the crowd towards her and tapped her shoulder lightly as she had her back turned to him, standing akimbo above the two guys who didn’t even dare to stand up. What he didn’t expect was a sudden punch square into his solar plexus that made him bend over and then she elbowed him to the face for good measure.

 

‘Oh my god! I’m so terribly sorry! I didn’t mean to do that, are you alright?’ The girl slapped a palm over her mouth, horrified once she realized what she just did. Kisame coughed a few times before he lifted his head to look at her, grinning even through the pain.

‘Dammit girl, you have quite a punch.’ Kisame acknowledged and coughed again. ‘You’re bleeding! Come with me, I’ll treat you…’ The girl grabbed his hand, pulling him through the crowd. She had literally an iron grip on his wrist. Kisame didn’t remember being ever so taken by anyone.

 

They went up the stairs and she dragged him into one of the rooms there that revealed to be a girls bathroom. ‘Don’t mind this…’ She laughed nervously and tore a lace bra from the clothesline, shoving it into the first drawer at her hand.

‘Sit here please.’ The girl gestured towards the bathtub and proceeded to rummage through the first aid kit hanging on the wall. Kisame complied without protests. ‘Now, let me see…’ She turned back to him with some cotton pads and disinfection. She leaned her face closer to examine him, frowning to herself but all Kisame could pay attention to were her mesmerizing emerald green eyes.

 

‘Mmm. It’s not as bad as I initially thought. I just split your lip it seems…’ She trailed off, looking into Kisame’s eyes remorsefully before she averted her eyes with a blush. She was adorable. And Kisame was utterly bewitched. Only he didn’t even know her name.

‘Can I…’ He wanted to ask but she shook her head. ‘Don’t speak please. Let me treat the wound first. It may sting a bit now.’ She poured the disinfection on the cotton and tapped his lip gently. It did sting and more than just a bit but Kisame didn’t pay it any mind. He just couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

 

‘There. I’ll give you some ice once we are back downstairs. I’m so sorry I hit you, I was so riled up, I did it reflexively.’ She reached out hesitantly before she caressed his cheek softly. ‘There’s a bruise forming…’ The pinkette blushed a little at Kisame’s gasp.

‘It’s alright, I got worse. Although I have to say, hats down. I understand fully now why Naruto was so whiny in the ring with you.’ Kisame chuckled and something in his chest fluttered when she smiled bashfully. ‘Oh, thanks. I noticed you in the gym a few times. Impressive bench-pressing. ’ She retracted her hand, lacing her fingers behind her back nervously.

 

‘I’m Sakura by the way. Can I get you a drink for the trouble?’ She tilted her head with a sweet smile, looking positively edible. ‘Kisame. And how could I possibly refuse such a beautiful girl?’ Kisame winked as her cheeks reddened again.

‘Stop it, flatterer, before I punch you again.’ She mumbled and occupied herself with cleaning after themselves. ‘Kitten, you can punch me any time.’ Kisame smirked and stood up. When he straightened fully, she barely reached the middle of his chest. That didn’t prevent her from punching his arm at all though.

 

‘Come with me, handsome.’ She shoved her much smaller palm into his and Kisame let himself being dragged again. He didn’t even care where, he was just content to follow. From the window in the hall he caught a glimpse of two people sitting on a garden swing, pressed close to each other, Itachi resting his head on Naruto’s shoulder. The night couldn’t get any better, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don't know, I'm accepting prompts for this AU. (: [Check the post here](https://malazuzu22.tumblr.com/post/174150619471/sweater-gang-drabbles-prompts-time) for further information!
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	3. MadaTobi - The Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested ages ago by raendown on tumblr! 
> 
> Madara and Tobirama's date out gets crashed by Tsunade
> 
> for a side note - in this AU Tsunade is Touka's sister and Tobirama's cousin

‘Tobirama, for fucks sake! Get your ass back here this instant!’ Madara bellowed from the bedroom. Tobirama just ignored him, instead he dried his freshly shaved face with a towel, gave himself a last once over in the mirror and more or less content with what he saw left the bathroom in lenient pace to finally get dressed. Madara had been calling for him past five minutes, his shouting steadily increasing on volume and aggravation alike.

 

‘Finally. You took forever, dammit. I need your help with… Uh.’ Madara, dressed in a perfectly ironed shirt but still lacking any pants, whipped around once he heard the door click only to freeze. ‘Alright, I take it back. It was worth it. Do we really need to go somewhere?’ Madara dropped the tie he was apparently battling with and strode to Tobirama to latch his hands around his neck.

Tobirama snuck his own arms around Madara’s hips, pulling him closer. ‘Haven’t you been planning this date for over two months?’ The Senju arched a teasing brow. ‘Yeah but you look and smell so irresistible right now…’ The Uchiha trailed off and leaned in for a kiss.

Tobirama responded eagerly, opening his mouth for Madara’s demanding tongue willingly and letting the other ravish him thoroughly. He could feel his desire for the man rising rapidly and wanted to cave in but then the reasonable part of him pulled away.

 

‘What about this though. We go to that dinner. We get back. You fuck the hell out of me and we can lie in for an hour or three. Do you have anything important to do in the morning that couldn’t be postponed?’ Tobirama asked the dark-haired man who was just about to start protesting.

‘Mmm. I suppose I could shuffle the errands around a little… It’s not responsible but if it’s for the sake of fucking the hell out of you…’ Madara tapped his chin mock-thoughtfully. ‘Good. Then I suggest you get your pants on, babe.’ Tobirama smirked and kissed Madara shortly before slapping his butt playfully and venturing towards his own wardrobe. He didn’t even bother to stifle a chuckle at Madara’s indignant squawk.

 

‘Please wear something else than blue for a change.’ Madara shot him a pointed look as he was staring a bit cluelessly into the wardrobe. ‘Easier said than done. What about… This one?’ Tobirama pulled randomly an ash grey shirt out to try it on if it was still fitting him at all. ‘Meh. Not bad but…’ Madara waved his hand vaguely, suggesting it was lacking something.

‘Duh. This one then?’ The Senju then picked a lavender one Hashirama gifted to him ages ago and he never even once wore because he hated the colour something dreadfully. ‘No, I recall vividly both of us agreed purple is not your colour and Hashirama is an idiot right after you unwrapped it. Why don’t you wear the one I gave you for Christmas?’ Madara, finally dressed in his pants, was currently hopping on one leg, trying to put the socks on.

‘You mean the wine red one? Why not.’ Tobirama shrugged and rummaged through the wardrobe in search of the exact shirt Madara meant. He was buttoning it up in front of the mirror when Madara came to him, turning him around by his hips and finishing the buttons for him.

‘Flawless. You should wear it more often.’ Madara took a step back, scanning Tobirama with hungry eyes. ‘You think? I’m not sure red is my colour…’ Tobirama made a doubtful grimace. ‘Nonsense. I love it on you. Wear that dark grey suit with it. I’m gonna pick you a tie.’ Madara clapped his hands happily and dove into the wardrobe head first. It wasn’t every day he managed to convince Tobirama to dress up.

‘I don’t want to wear a tie…’ Tobirama groaned, putting his pants on. ‘I’m afraid that’s not a debatable matter, snowflake.’ Madara’s voice came out of the wardrobe comically muffled. Tobirama flipped him off even though the other couldn’t see so it didn’t have the desired effect of the Uchiha sputtering angrily.

 

When Madara resurfaced, he had a white one with tiny red dots and silvery-grey one in his hands. ‘Mmm. I can’t decide. The silver one makes you more serious. But the dotted one is more playful, into your style…’ Madara kept comparing the ties for a while before Tobirama lost his patience and tore the white one out of his hand. ‘Just gimme the damn thing. Either way it’s gonna feel like a collar around my neck.’ He grumbled and started to tie it.

‘Now you remind me! I wanted your help before. I made a knot and I can’t seem to unwind it now…’ Madara picked up the tie he’s been fighting with when Tobirama was still in the bathroom. ‘Show me…’ Tobirama sighed, pursing his lips when he saw the incredibly tight knot. Madara was never one patient enough to be able to untie any. His furious unsystematic tugging here and there always only made the matters worse. Lucky he had Tobirama for this kind of job.

‘There. Do you want me to tie it for you?’ Tobirama put it around Madara’s neck once he was done. ‘Please.’ Madara nodded, fumbling with the cufflinks. ‘All done. You look great.’ Tobirama kissed his nose and stepped back to look at Madara properly. He’s been wearing a black suit, dark purple shirt and mint green tie.

‘You as well. I wish you’d wear suits more often instead of these baggy trousers and plaid shirts you love so much.’ Madara sighed, knowing all too well this particular wish of his was a lost cause. ‘You would get used to it and how else would I surprise you with looking respectable for a change then?’ Tobirama chuckled and Madara rolled his eyes.

 

‘We’d better go. The table is reserved for eight o’clock and the restaurant is on the other side of the city.’ Madara checked his watch and hushed Tobirama out of the room. Once they tied their oxfords, Tobirama took the car keys off the hanger.

‘I’m driving.’ He announced and Madara frowned immediately. ‘Not your car? You know me and that thing are in a disagreement.’ The Uchiha grumbled. ‘How could I not, you say you hate it all the time. Although I still don’t understand why.’ Tobirama smirked. ‘It’s not practical and it’s not safe enough!’ Madara threw his arms up in exasperation.

‘Not everyone wants to drive a soccer mum car.’ Tobirama laughed. Madara’s SUV BMW x5 was maybe safer than his Chevvy but it looked ridiculously ugly compared to the turquoise blue 1969 vintage Camaro. ‘At least I’m not going to die in it one day.’ Madara snapped but followed Tobirama into the garage and towards the Chevrolet.

Tobirama was nice enough to open the door for him. ‘In you go, my charming prince.’ The Senju motioned him in. Madara just scoffed, swept his long hair out of his face and seated himself regally, all the while pouting at him grudgingly. Tobirama rounded the car chuckling and sat behind the steering wheel. He reeled the engine a few times just to push Madara’s buttons a bit more.

‘Stop messing around and drive already.’ The Uchiha shot him a glare, his arms crossed. ‘As you wish.’ Tobirama smiled sweetly and drove off, tires squeaking, heading towards the highway that would take them around the city a quicker way than going through the maze of the city streets.

 

As he sped up on the highway, Madara glared a bit more at him, gripping at the armrests tightly. ‘Relax, babe. Let’s go through the list just to be sure we have everything covered.’ Tobirama reached over to squeeze Madara’s hand reassuringly. ‘Keep your eyes on the road and hands on the wheel.’ The Uchiha swatted it away. Tobirama just rolled his eyes. Such a sacredly cat.

‘So. Hashirama?’ Madara started. ‘I bribed Mito not to let him leave the house. I had to go shopping lingerie with her, might I add…’ Tobirama grimaced as if someone was torturing him, recalling the awful afternoon spent picking between dozens of different lace bras with a vision of Mito showing up in these in front of his brother and his beloved sister-in-law having a ball about him being completely out of his niche.

‘What a sacrifice indeed. You’re my hero, honey. Kawarama?’ Madara patted his thigh compassionately. ‘Bought him and Takuma tickets for the monster truck show as we discussed. They should be sitting there right now, hollering with excitement like hooligans. Kawa sent me a pic earlier.’ Tobirama responded and fished out his phone, handing it over to Madara. The other man found the photo of the two grinning idiots and laughed.

‘Excellent idea on your part. Izuna is with Itama I presume?’ Madara continued down the list. ‘Yeah, Itama promised to take him to the cinema to see the newest Marvel movie or something.’ Tobirama confirmed. ‘Tajiro isn’t an idiot who can’t mind his own business and Haruma has a night shift in the hospital today. I guess we are all clear.’ Madara smiled brilliantly. That was a small miracle indeed.

 

Last four years, whenever they arranged a date to celebrate the anniversary of their wedding, someone appeared to crash it and foiled all of their plans. This year, celebrating five years of being married, the couple decided to take precautions. Madara wouldn’t have such an important day ruined yet again and Tobirama really didn’t want to deal with a thoroughly grumpy husband. Not to mention the date was super important for him too.

 

 

 

Once they arrived to their destination, Tobirama parked the car in front of the building and the couple went inside. The restaurant Madara chose was one of the expensive places in the city but the opportunity called for something fancy.

The receptionist checked their reservation in the foyer and their waiter appeared. ‘Good evening gentlemen, welcome to The Rolling ball. My name is Chouji and I will be your waiter tonight.’ A chubby young man with long light brown hair in the ponytail – Tobirama recognized him as one of the university students from the infamous group around Minato’s son – greeted them and showed them to their table.

 

‘What can I bring you as an aperitif?’ The waiter handed them the menu and blinked at them. ‘What would you suggest?’ Madara decided to test him. ‘I would recommend either dry riesling from Germany or Andalusian manzanilla.’ The young man replied without hesitation. Madara hummed in satisfaction. ‘We’ll go with the first, please.’ He smiled at the waiter who nodded dutifully and hurried away.

‘Mmm. What am I going to pick?’ Madara then flipped the menu open, scanning through the pages. Tobirama already had his courses picked as he checked the menu online earlier that day. He had to go earlier from work to be on time for the date so he didn’t even have time to have a lunchbreak, therefore he was starving.

Madara kept humming contemplatively for a moment before he finally set the menu down and the waiter appeared on cue. ‘I believe you already picked. What can I serve you?’ The boy smiled pleasantly. ‘For starters I’d like to have garganelli with broad beans, guanciale and black pepper. And for the main… Mmm. I’ll go for the guinea fowl with tomatoes, anchovy butter and sage.’ Madara enumerated.

‘Excellent choice. And for the gentleman?’ The waiter then turned to Tobirama. ‘I will ask you for Wye Valley asparagus with romesco and crème fraîche for the starters and… Are these trouts fresh?’ He had to reassure himself. ‘Of course, sir. Freshly bought on the market.’ The boy nodded dutifully, not taking any offense. ‘Good, then I’ll try out the trout with pak choi, finger limes and curry butter, please.’ Tobirama was happy his initial choice was a good one.

 

 

Once the boy left them again, they both reached for their glasses to toast. ‘So, here we go, one of us has to say it. Happy fifth anniversary, babe.’ Tobirama winked at Madara and reached across the table for his hand. ‘Technically, I’m stuck with you for well over eleven years.’ Madara pointed out. ‘But I still love you all the same. Happy anniversary, snowflake.’ Madara said softly.

Tobirama then subtly signalled the waiter and the boy brought a beautiful bouquet of red tulips which were Madara’s favourite. Tobirama ordered them a day before and called into the restaurant to arrange the surprise. ‘These are for you. I also have something else waiting for you back home.’ Tobirama caressed the hand he was clutching. Madara took the flowers from the boy, his eyes glistering a little.

‘Oh Tobi. They are beautiful. Thank you so much.’ Madara blinked several times and Tobirama pretended he didn’t see the tears welling in his eyes. His husband was so mushy sometimes. ‘Anything for you, babe.’ Tobirama winked mischievously. He was just happy to make the massive dork he married happy too.

‘Allow me to give you my congratulations as well. The drinks are on the house.’ Chouji smiled brightly at the couple, who thanked gratefully, and discreetly took the flowers again to put them back into the water. He would give the bouquet to Madara upon their leaving.

 

Shortly after that their meal arrived and the waiter automatically brought them a bottle of red wine, pouring two glasses for them to accompany their food. Both of them really had to appreciate the first class service of the restaurant. The boy smiled proudly as he explained the restaurant belonged to his parents before leaving them to their meal.

They were enjoying their delicious food thoroughly, chatting about this and that and overall had a rare evening when they could just sit back and relax and enjoy themselves. It was only natural – and Tobirama cursed himself for not seeing it coming – something had to go wrong.

 

 

 

Madara was just telling him about something ridiculous Hashirama said the other day in the cafeteria to one of the students when a strong demanding voice that literally made the hair on his arms stand came to his ears. ‘Oh gods, please not her.’ Tobirama mumbled to himself and leaned a bit to the side so that he could peek towards the reception.

He wasn’t mistaken. There she was, smooth blonde hair divided into two ponytails, heels and dress revealing almost too much of her overflowing bust, red lipstick, perfectly manicured nails of the same colour and menacing voice tone demanding to be let inside despite not having a reservation. Tobirama winced and quickly ducked back, shrinking a bit and hoping – obviously in vain – she wouldn’t spot them.

 

‘Something’s wrong?’ Madara frowned and turned around to check whatever caused Tobirama a state of moderate panic. At that moment the blonde woman was already at the brink of yelling and from the expression of utter annoyance and fright alike Madara pulled once he heard her voice Tobirama knew his husband too realized they were totally screwed.

‘You got to be kidding me! What in seven hells is _she_ doing here?!’ Madara hissed angrily, trying not to drag any attention to them. ‘Why do you ask me as if I invited her?’ Tobirama retorted in a hushed whisper. The argument by the reception was winding up until suddenly the yelling stopped. Tobirama with Madara exchanged curious looks but both of them knew it was just a false hope the staff managed to get rid of the woman. This was just the calm before the storm.

 

Their waiter appeared a moment later, eyeing them with deeply apologetic expression. ‘Excuse me, but there’s a lady claiming she is to join you for the dinner despite the receptionist insisting you booked the table for two, I’m sure this has to have some sort of explanation…’ The poor boy didn’t have time to finish what he had to say as the blonde disaster apparently lost her patience and stomped right into the main room of the restaurant.

She scanned the tables like a hawk and once she spotted them, her hazel eyes narrowed with determination. Her blonde pigtails followed after her as she strode towards them confidently, smiling deceivingly brightly, looking almost amicable.

‘Uchiha! Cousin! Sorry I’m late, I had some business to attend to first!’ The busty woman shed the purse off her shoulder and without hesitation stole a chair from another unoccupied table to sit down between the two rendered silent men. ‘Well, don’t just stand there, boy! Bring me some sake and quick. I’m thirsty.’ She hollered and scowled threateningly when Chouji hesitated.

Tobirama just sighed long-sufferingly and nodded resignedly, not wanting to cause a bigger scene than they already did. The waiter shot him one last apologetic look before he scurried away, presumably as far from the yelling blonde as possible. From the corner of his eye he could see Madara gripping his knife and fork tightly and a sharp intake of breath from his husband was a cue he was just about to explode while their uninvited guest kept smirking at him challengingly. He had to do something and quick.

 

‘Tsuna. What a surprise. I thought you were out of town.’ Tobirama said flatly and reached for Madara’s hand. He squeezed it pointedly to force his husband stay quiet at least for the next ten seconds. Madara made a very interesting noise of anger somewhere at the back of his throat but otherwise kept his mouth blissfully shut, lips pressed together tightly and glaring daggers.

Tsunade didn’t pay the Uchiha any mind and waved her long lashes at Tobirama in that strangely charming way of hers Tobirama hated since they were children and she kept using it to get out of trouble and simultaneously convince the adults all the blame for whatever mischief they caused was on him or any other of her four cousins.

‘Tobes. It’s been some time. I see you’re still keeping your pet Uchiha.’ Tsunade sneered Madara’s way when he actually growled at her. ‘I’d like to ask you if you could stop referring to my husband that way.’ Tobirama replied calmly, caressing the knuckles of Madara’s hand to keep him calm for a bit longer. It did sort of feel like taming a wild beast but it was neither here nor there.

‘Actually, not that I’m not overjoyed to see you again, but you picked quite an inconvenient moment to reappear. As you can see, we were having a dinner. For two. To celebrate our five years anniversary.’ Tobirama tried to get rid of her subtly. He knew it wouldn’t work on her but he did have to try.

‘Oh right, you were foolish enough to actually _marry_ him. Pity I don’t remember much of the wedding.’ Tsunade waved her hand laconically, acting as if a fuming Uchiha ready to try and shred her to pieces wasn’t right next to her. ‘Maybe if you didn’t get so spectacularly drunk and fall asleep on the table with your face in a piece of the wedding cake you wouldn’t have troubles with your memory, Senju.’ The aforementioned Uchiha spat with distaste, unable to keep quiet any more even for the sake of Tobirama.

‘But what’s the point then? Lots of free food and alcohol is what everyone loves on weddings!’ Tsunade rolled her hazel eyes as if he was dumb. ‘Oh, really? Is that why you married twice already? With the same guy, not to mention.’ Madara smiled at her falsely.

 

Tobirama knew that particular topic was something that pushed Tsunade’s buttons every time anyone dared to mention it. Madara with utter lack of sense for self-preservation knew it too. Tsunade’s self-satisfied smirk morphed into a menacing scowl that could make a glass of milk go sour on instant.

‘Go suck a dick, Uchiha. Don’t you even remind me of that dearest husband of mine. He’s the half of my current problems anyway. Which is why I’m here, in fact.’ Tsunade scoffed angrily. She would probably rant some more if the waiter didn’t return with a bottle of sake she ordered.

‘Right on time, boy! Hand it to me, quick.’ Tsunade snapped her fingers imperiously. Choji did as he was told and left again but not before reassuring himself his guests had everything they needed. Tobirama and Madara watched Tsunade pour a shot of sake and down it in one go, swiftly followed by another.

 

 

‘Alright, if you need to cry your heart out then spill the beans and be gone, vile woman. Why did you come?’ Madara pierced Tsunade with the look that caused his students’ knees buckle with fear. Tobirama on the other hand was already pretty sure what the reasons of his cousin’s return were. It was just the same shit different day.

Tsunade grimaced in a hostile way but then schooled her expression and poured another shot of sake, faking nonchalance. ‘My grievances are not your concern. I just came to chat. Catch up with the news and whatnot. I’ve been out of town for a while.’ Tsunade purred but Tobirama noticed the insidious twitch of her lips.

The silver-haired man pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Acting was never your forte, Tsuna. How much do you want this time?’ He asked directly. Saying it outright might speed the uncomfortable conversation up a bit and boy, he did want to have this situation over as soon as possible.

 

Tsunade’s eyes snapped to him with a glint. ‘Why, you wound me, cousin. How could you assume I came to exploit you?’ Tsunade batted her eyelashes with a sad pout. ‘Quit playing. You _only_ come when you want to lure some money out of my pocket.’ Tobirama cut her off. Madara nodded sternly.

Seeing her act was spoiled, Tsunade huffed in annoyance. ‘Fine.’ She stopped playing with the cup and downed her third shot. ‘Listen, I wouldn’t come if I didn’t have to but I’m in some serious shit right now. As much as I hate to admit it, I trust you two the most to keep it under the wraps. I would go to Touka but she's still mad with me.’ Tsunade finally began talking in a low voice.

Madara and Tobirama exchanged a look and the Uchiha beckoned her to continue. ‘Is it about your gambling again?’ Tobirama asked when Tsunade remained silent, most likely putting her speech together. ‘What? No. I stopped with that some time ago. Well, not entirely but I scaled it down to the bare minimum. Just a poker night once a week it’s all.’ Tsunade waved her hand.

 

‘It's much worse. A friend of mine convinced me it would be a good idea to start with business on the stock market.’ The blonde finally started narrating. Madara face-palmed himself right away. ‘Fuck off, I’ll have you known I was successful at first!’ Tsunade snapped angrily.

‘What went wrong then?’ Tobirama inquired. ‘What I didn’t see coming was that my so-called friend would waltz away with all the money I and my investors gave him. And now the blame is on me because, as stupid as I was, I put my signature under all the contracts.’ Tsunade said tiredly, pouring herself another cup.

Madara frowned but didn’t move to stop her. ‘How much was it?’ The Uchiha asked instead. ‘Couple thousand…’ Tsunade replied evasively. ‘Fine, about twenty-eight thousand.’ She threw her arms up when her companions kept staring at her sceptically.

 

‘That’s a lot of money. What about your husband? Does he know?’ Tobirama whistled quietly. ‘I was just getting to that. My good-for-nothing husband frolicked away about three months ago. Said he was going to Asia to _“gather some more experience and research material”_ for his twice-damned books.’ Tsunade gripped the cup in her fist so tightly that tiny cracks appeared on it.

‘I’m none the wiser of his whereabouts since he rarely bothers to send any messages but I would bet my ass he’s drinking himself to oblivion between some random whore’s thighs in some nameless Bangkok brothel.’ She gritted her teeth. Why was she tolerating such behaviour to Jiraiya was still a mystery to Tobirama but then again, their relationship was always pretty weird.

‘And I reckon he also has the access to the bank accounts, correct?’ Madara guessed. ‘Yeah. He regularly sends money to my own account but the rest his stupid porn thrash earns is safely on his own account so I wouldn’t know how much he spends on whores.’ Tsunade hissed with spite.

‘I tried to contact him but it’s like he vanished. He always had a talent for that.’ She continued bitterly. ‘Anyway, the creditors were after me so I had to leave the city. Returning here looked like a good idea but…’ Tsunade hesitated and looked around carefully.

 

‘They found me here as well. I was looking for you at home but you weren’t there. Itama told me where to find you, I probably scared the boy a bit though. Said it was a matter of life and death and so on…’ Tsunade chuckled but quickly turned serious again.

‘Where are you staying? What help do you need?’ Tobirama frowned. Even Madara looked concerned. ‘At the hotel for now. I need to find some place yet. I need a loan, that’s all. I’ll pay my debts and find a way to repay you back.’ Tsunade almost whispered, a plea in her eyes.

‘You’re staying in town then? What about Jiraiya?’ Tobirama hurried to ask. ‘I was gonna leave him anyway. This time for good. I played a rich man’s wife long enough. I want to be independent again.’ Tsunade said firmly.

 

‘About damn time. You know what? I have a proposition for you, Senju.’ Madara joined in after a while of being quiet. ‘I can arrange the loan you asked for. Under one condition.’ The Uchiha continued, a smug smirk forming on his lips.

Tobirama knew this kind of face, Madara always looked like a Cheshire cat itself when he came up with something particularly wicked. ‘For heavens’ sake, I should have seen it coming. What is it, Uchiha? Name your terms.’ Tsunade too apparently suspected she was screwed.

‘You will obviously need a job to earn the money back. As it happens, the faculty of medicine needs a new professor. We got some inquires about a month ago, there are demands to expand the research on toxicology. I know you were a well-recognized expert before you chose to become a housewife instead of pursuing medical career.’ Madara’s smirk widened a fraction as the colour drained off Tsunade’s face. Tobirama looked at his husband with wonder.

‘I… I mean, yes, I used to love my job but I can’t do this anymore. The haemophobia and all…’ Tsunade trailed off, shaking a little. Tobirama reached out to comfort her. ‘Tsuna, your phobia can be cured. This could be an opportunity to start anew. Think about it.’ He spoke gently. Tsunade lifted her eyes and smiled softly.

 

‘I think I will. Give me a few days, I’ll consider your offer, Uchiha.’ Tsunade stood up abruptly. ‘I guess I bothered you long enough. I should leave you to your business. Kami know I hindered you for long enough from staring in each other’s’ eyes and being all lovey-dovey. Enjoy the rest of your evening.’ She winked saucily, snatched the still half-full bottle of sake off the table and made for the entrance.

Tobirama and Madara waved at her, somewhat relieved. ‘That was a very nice gesture of you, honey.’ Tobirama turned to his husband once the door shut behind her. Madara only shrugged. ‘Despite her flaws, she’s capable of being professional. It’s about time she stopped wasting all that potential.’ He explained matter-of-factly and returned to his now almost cold dinner.

 

If possible, Tobirama loved his husband at this moment even more. No matter how many people were terrified by him, Madara was a good man. And Tobirama was damn lucky to have him.

 

 

₪₪₪

 

A little bonus

 

‘Okay, you can now open your eyes.’ Tobirama said after he deposited the box to Madara’s lap. He had to fetch it from their neighbour’s house once they returned from the restaurant and Madara was all impatient and twitchy.

‘Um. A box. What’s in there?’ Madara lifted it and shook it a little. ‘Nooo! Don’t do that!’ Tobirama yelped, horrified. ‘Alright, alright, stop fussing. I didn’t know that’s forbidden.’ Madara rolled his eyes at his husband’s antics.

‘Well, open it!’ Tobirama prompted. If he was a less collected man, like the fool of his eldest brother was, he would be now probably bouncing on spot with excitement. Madara found it amusing.

 

Normally he would tease Tobirama by taking his sweet time unwrapping the box just to annoy him but he happened to be pretty curious what this all was about. ‘Calm down, I’m opening it.’ Madara chuckled and tore the decorative paper.

At the sound of paper tearing Madara almost felt like something in the box moved. Did Tobirama buy him a pet? Him, who couldn’t take care of a simple plant for the love of gods? As if Tobirama’s devil cat wasn’t enough anyway.

 

Spurred by the desire to confirm his suspicions Madara unwrapped the gift quickly and opened the box. There was a ton of black fabric and…. Nothing. ‘What? Is this some kind of practical joke or…?’ Madara frowned at Tobirama in confusion.

‘No. Look properly, dummy.’ Tobirama laughed. Madara pursed his lips in annoyance of being mocked but he obediently plunged his hands into the box. He groped about for a moment, only feeling more fabric until…

‘Oh! It’s fluffy!’ Madara exclaimed once his fumbling fingers touched the fur. He looked into the box only to find two green spots staring back at him. Madara grabbed at the tiny creature as gently as he could and took the animal out of the box.

 

‘It’s a kitten.’ Madara blinked several times, holding the baby cat in front of his face. His eyes widened comically when it meowed at him. ‘Yes! I saw it in the animal shelter the other day and I knew it was perfect for you.’ Tobirama nodded happily.

‘Tobi...’ Madara sighed. Tobirama knew he used to have a cat just like this one when he was a kid but he never wanted to get a new one after his pet accidentally got hit by a car.

‘You don’t like him?’ Tobirama wilted. ‘No, it’s very cute. It reminds me of Shishi…’ Madara lowered the kitten, holding it on his lap.

 

‘That’s why I decided you should have him. I know you loved Shishi. And now he’s returned to you.’ Tobirama shuffled closer to gently pat at the kitten’s head. The pitch black creature was looking at them curiously but it didn’t look afraid of the strangers.

‘Besides, Mr. Fluffington needs a partner in crime. It wouldn’t do that all the blame for the cat shenanigans would go to him all the time.’ Tobirama pointed out with a smile.

 

 

‘I guess you’re right, we’ll have to keep the little fluff. But that means we’ll have to find the babysitting for the cats now.’ Madara mused, ruffling the kitten’s fur, melting on spot when it started purring contently.

‘How so?’ Tobirama asked, visibly puzzled. ‘Because, Tobirama, love of my life, we’re finally going on holiday.’ Madara announced simply. ‘We’re _what_?!’ Tobirama yelped and jumped off the couch. ‘I bought us plane tickets, we’re going to Caribbean next week.’ Madara expanded on his plans.

‘But… School…! My research… The team!’ Tobirama started flailing. ‘Sit down, you oaf, you’re scaring Shishi.’ Madara tugged Tobirama’s sleeve and successfully pulled him back onto the couch. ‘It’s all taken care of. Hashirama knows, your team know. They will manage for two weeks without you.’ Madara threw his arm around Tobirama’s waist, pulling him closer.

‘One of these days, you’re going to cause me a heart attack.’ Tobirama shook his head with a soft huff and relaxed into the embrace. ‘You’re the one to talk.’ Madara grumbled good-naturedly and kissed Tobirama’s temple.

 

They remained like this for a while until Shishi decided he was bored with them and it was time to explore so he ran off into the depths of the house.

‘So.’ Tobirama straightened suddenly, looking at Madara playfully. ‘What happened to that promise to fuck the hell out of me?’ He raised a teasing brow, his palm slowly moving up Madara’s thigh. ‘You don’t need to ask twice.’ Madara grinned right before he pushed his tongue into Tobirama’s mouth. In the end, this wasn’t such a bad anniversary at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got pretty long in the end, heh. :D Sorry about making Jiraiya a bit villainous here. 
> 
> You can send me prompts too if you wish, my tumblr inbox is always open! Can't guarantee how long it will take me to actually do the thing though as I'm terribly unproductive these days... :D


End file.
